For many of us, feeling like the end is near, or having difficulty completing everyday tasks is a common struggle. It doesn’t matter where you come from, how much money you have or who your therapist is. Whatever complexities in the mind exist, they sure know how to take us down sometimes.
From the very beginning of humanity, we humans were gifted with a fight or flight response. A necessary survival instinct that allowed our species to flourish. But over time, generation to generation, experiences changed. We no longer need this fight or flight response in the same way we used to.
We’re no longer living outside in the wild, having to hunt for food or sew our own clothing out of animal hides. We’re not sleeping with one eye open for fear of an attack by a predator. For the most part, we now have safe homes with warm blankets, running water, a refrigerator full of food and everything we need to survive can be bought at the corner store. Our complex, amazing brains have figured out how to make survival easy. So why are we still so anxious?
1. The media makes money by keeping us scared. There’s always been word of mouth from neighbors to instill healthy fears about things that might kill us, and news stations have existed on television and in newspapers for decades, but in our modern era, we’re dealing with a whole new beast. The media is everywhere. It’s all over our televisions, at our supermarkets, on billboards, and at gas stations. It’s overtaking our devices, social media networks, even conversations, just filling us with fear about anything and everything. From the cancer causing chemicals in our hair conditioner to the fact that we might have a mass murderer living right next door. They don’t miss a beat. Fear and anger catches our attention, and drives their ratings up.
2. We don’t like to admit it, but we actually like to fight. War has existed from the beginning of time, and despite our greatest efforts, will exist until the end of it. On a smaller scale, we can go on our day to day trying to keep our shit together, meditating, using various therapies, acting as if we can get along well with others. But it’s only a matter of time before we’re upset with someone. We can’t help it. We all like to be right. It’s our nature. Whether we don’t agree with someone online, at work or more commonly, in our own home, we can’t escape our human emotions. Ever. Even the most respected Buddhist monks have moments of struggle.
3. Childhood experiences form pathways. As children, tiny brain seeds are planted in our brains. Our genetics, our families, friends and experiences – everything plants a seed that grows and manifests into adulthood. We learn by watching, listening and participating in relationships with others. It’s easy to get stuck in a pattern of thinking, behaving, and living as you were conditioned to growing up. For those affected by trauma of one type or another, anxiety and depression can be an all too common foe. But there’s a way past all of it. Simply put, by finding a way to put the past behind you. Childhood experiences might form pathways, but they don’t determine the final destination.
4. We constantly compare our insides to others outsides. Fighting an inner battle to live up some to some vision or ideal ultimately leads to discontent and suffering. Greed and envy of what others have creates instability and a victim mentality. The truth is, that “ideal” you wish you could live up to is only a illusion in your mind. Remember that saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? That’s where the truth lies. We’re all made of the same star dust. And we all have something to offer. Instead of focusing on the belief that you aren’t as good as someone else, remember the odds are pretty good that their life isn’t nearly as perfect as it looks. They’re fighting a battle too.
5. Our happiness depends on our perspective. If we aren’t grateful, we can’t be happy. If we can’t see how good we really have it, we will stay locked in the prison of our minds. Our value is determined not by how others see us, but by how we see ourselves. No matter what negative beliefs you have about yourself, be willing to call bullshit on them all. Dig deep and remember who you were before the world got it’s hands on you.
So how do we put this all in action? Be the change. Jump into the ring. It starts with you. It starts by facing your fears. By using common sense. By taking your power back. Wake up to the real possibility that there isn’t anything “wrong” with you.
For all the above mentioned reasons, you are human. We all are. We can all do our best to conquer anxiety and depression by taking contrary actions. We need to quit judging ourselves and others. By working towards loving others, even when we don’t want to, we create more positive energy that goes out into the world.
Don’t sit in your shit for too long. Get up, face the day and take care of yourself. You have to feel some pain to grow. They’re not called “growing pains” for nothing. The worst thing you can do is sit still. You don’t have to go through life feeling alone either. Find a support system that will help you step out of the darkness (hint: it’s probably not the same one you’ve always used).
Quit snuffing out your own light. Smile. Let go and let God. You are deserving of love. Go out and get it. Say “hello” to a stranger. Join a club. What can it hurt? Despite some surface differences, us humans are truly all the same – beings who just want feel loved, connected, free and happy.
