Last night I had a wonderful dream. I was speaking at a meeting, but it was more in the setting of a stand up comedian. Being the funny person that I am with such a desire to make people laugh that I’ll drop my own lunch in the cafeteria (stories of a real life class clown), I obviously was enjoying this share. I’m usually quite nervous and reserved when it’s my turn to share at meetings, but in this dream, I was laying it all out there.
I was talking about the last year of sobriety, and all the crazy things I’ve done. Pageants, modeling, trying to pursue acting, etc. For me, sometimes I feel like that was wasted time, wasted effort, but the truth about it was that without doing those things I wouldn’t have figured out what I’m meant to do. Figuring out who I am has been the theme of my life. I think I’ve grown more over this past year sober than I have in the last 20 years.
My dream ended with me tearing up and talking about how thankful I was that my husband and I have a second chance. We’ve arrived at a place of understanding and healing. We welcome the thought of being imperfect. We are who we are. And we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep ourselves grounded in the sunlight of the spirit so that we can live a happy, fulfilled life. One day at a time. For however long God needs us on this earth.
That dream really meant something to me today. Thanksgiving Day is a day of gratitude. Wherever you are in the world, whoever you are with and whatever you are doing doesn’t matter so much. It’s about the gifts of God. Strength, grace and love.
Without my God’s grace and my program, I wouldn’t have the life I have today. It isn’t always easy. But despite all of that, God’s got it. He’s always had it. Today, I give thanks to God, thanks to my husband, thanks to my doggie Lily, and thanks to the family and friends who’ve taught me about love. I believe that is what life is all about. Learning how to live and how to love.
Happy Thanksgiving!
