The decision to break free from social media was something I had been contemplating for a long time. I’d already slowed down on my usage since my son had been born, because, duh, who got time for that when your caring for a new baby? Some days I might not even make it on to check my notifications. But other days, I felt I spent too much time scrolling. Not to mention the times I’d grab my phone and go directly into one of my social media apps without even a thought. When my son saw me on my phone, I felt guilty about it. Not because I was neglecting him, but because I’m a role model. What was I teaching him? That a phone is the most interesting thing in the world? That’s not what I want to teach my boy. There is so much more to life.
Perhaps an even bigger problem for me was that before I knew it, I was comparing my insides to others outsides, wondering why I didn’t have whatever it was THEY had at that moment. Leaving me wondering; why does social media make me start questioning my own life? The reality is that I’m blessed and grateful for everything I have, and the people I get to share it with. Life is a journey of choices, and my hubby and I have worked very hard to get to where we are. We continue to work to manifest our dreams and practice patience with what is, instead of what we would rather it be. Our life is unique to say the least, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Being a stay-at-home mama, while working on a writing career is hard work. Certainly a blessing, but not an easy path. Literally, every second is precious. Needless to say, social media wasn’t helping me stay disciplined or use my time wisely. It was time to get some clarity, and here are five things I learned after logging off for a solid 40 days.
1. You can get more work done.
I’m convinced that Facebook and Instagram are there to divert us from doing anything actually productive and meaningful in our lives. How many times have you thought about doing something you’ve wanted to do for awhile? Like pick up an old hobby, call a friend, work on that project, meditate, etc.? But instead of getting started, you opened up one of your social media apps. By the time you put your phone down it’s time to start dinner, go get the kids, etc… The project has to wait around, yet again, for another day… Social media is a trap, once you’re in, you’re not getting out. Logging out and uninstalling the apps is the only way.
When I wasn’t connected, amazing things happened. I finished another round of script revisions, spent more time playing with my son, completed some projects around the house, and checked things off my to do list that had been on there for far too long. Of course, there were things I still didn’t get done, like making more phone calls and meetings with people, but it’s about progress, not perfection. I felt a sense of accomplishment for the things that I did get done, and that’s what matters. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.
2. Life in the digital world goes on without you.
I guess this goes without saying…
3. Life isn’t based upon how many likes you get.
Of course it’s nice to get likes. It’s heart warming to see that people care about you and the things you do. It’s actually a wonderful feeling that, unfortunately, gets forgotten in the real world sometimes. What I’m saying, is you need to look inward too. Taking the time to just be with myself, my son and my life was refreshing. It gave me the opportunity to get some perspective on all the things I’m truly grateful for. It gave me time to just be. It was quiet. I didn’t feel like I had something to do. No anxiety about going on and seeing things I didn’t want to see, or missing posts. No comparing, no judging. It was just like the good old days when you actually had to leave your house to do that.
When you’re offline, there isn’t as many people patting you on the back. If you’re lucky, there are some that do. If not, tell yourself you’re special and you have something to give, because you are and you do. Don’t forget to give yourself some likes too. “There’s no one in the world like you.” – Fred Rogers
4. The most important things in life aren’t found on a screen.
Computers and the internet might be the tools of our time, but they certainly don’t change the very nature of our being. The need for physical connection and love still out way the superficial nature of the digital world. People who physically connect with others on a regular basis live longer. Happiness can only be found when these things are tended to. I know that the smile on my son’s face, his laugh, and his touch are the most precious parts of my existence. Kissing and loving on my husband, my son and our dog is everything to me. Not one moment should be taken for granted. What I’m getting at is that the next time someone calls, answer it. If you pass someone on the street say “hi”. If not for yourself, do it for them. You never know if they are lacking the physical connection that makes our lives meaningful.
5. You can’t stop the waves of the future.
The internet is an integral part of learning today. It can do some truly incredible things. It allows entrepreneurs to create the businesses of their dreams, giving opportunities to millions of people to do what they love. It helps solve crimes and brings families together in times of need. It’s a necessary tool of our modern world. Just ask Google! Social media is part of this new system, like a wave, with all it’s ups and downs.
What I Learned
My 40 day social media detox made me realize I can’t stay away forever. For me, living over 2000 miles away from most of my loved ones makes it hard to stay close, but distance doesn’t change the fact that I still need their presence in my life. Not seeing those beautiful faces everyday, makes me miss them even more. So scrolling upon a picture that makes me laugh, or brings joy to my life in that moment, is not a bad thing. As everyone grows older, facebook and instagram might be my best chance to feel connected. To feel like I’m a part of their journey, and they’re a part of mine.
In conclusion, social media can be an easy escape, it’s certainly addictive, and can be incredibly annoying. BUT there is something wonderful about being able to stay connected to people all over the world with just a simple click. It’s awesome to live during a time when being connected to others who share the same interests, ideas, and inspirations is as easy as reaching for your phone. And we’ve all shared a thought out, hand typed note with someone we love on facebook, and it didn’t cost a thing. Sure, stores like Hallmark might be closing down all over the country, and stamps might become obsolete, but the world is evolving, whether we like it or not. And it’s a beautiful thing.
We can always find someone who’s life we admire, who seems like they have it all and nothing can bring them down. We might wonder why our own life seems to be falling apart before our eyes… Realize that they struggle too, even if it’s not out there for everyone to see. Everyone has challenges in their life. No one is exempt. That’s what it means to be human. What social media can do is give you the chance to brighten someone’s day by sharing positive messages as well as sharing with someone when things might not be alright. Keep it light and you might inspire others to do the same.
Balance
There’s a balance, like all things in life. It’s up to every user to figure out how to use the internet safely, for their emotional and physical well being. Taking a break was good for me, and I’m sure I’ll take more breaks periodically. I’ll probably find myself scrolling aimlessly over and over again, because I’m not feeling those script revisions or that house work. I’ll see posts that make me mad, make me laugh or even make me cry. I’ll probably want to delete my account at times, but ultimately, I won’t. The grass isn’t greener without any social media. So, go ahead and scroll, feel free to unfollow posts or people who irritate you, but when the day ends, love them anyway. The world needs more love.
