As with all things in life, there is a beginning, a middle and an end. I didn’t know our end would come so soon. We had almost 12 beautiful years with you, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough. When I first saw your picture on the West LA Animal Shelter website, your tongue was sticking out, and I knew I needed you. I came to meet you and wanted to take you home, but they said they needed to wait five days in case your owners came for you. I called every day for five days to see if they did, and on day five they told me that I could come adopt you. We got to the shelter at 8 am the next day, filled out the paperwork and you were ours. The beginning of an unforgettable, wonderful chapter of our lives.
Each day we had with you was filled with joy. We took you on your first long walk to Yogurtland and made space for you in our busy lives. You were the light in it all and you didn’t even know it. You must have loved us a lot, because your separation anxiety was real. The hoops we had to jump through to try to make you feel better when we had to leave, I’m not certain you ever really made peace with it. I guess, not until you got too old to care that much.
We took you on so many of our adventures. We took you on hikes, walks, gatherings, trips to the ocean, into the mountains, up north and down south to visit family. If our travels could be planned with you in mind, we would do just that. You were our girl. You’ll always be our girl. Through all the moves, the new baby, the good days, the bad days, you were there through it all. You saw us at our worst and you saw us at our best. You loved us either way. When Tristan was growing in my tummy, and you were sleeping in my lap, I wondered how I could ever love anything as much as I loved you. When he came into the world, my love just grew bigger.
There are so many memories of you, but perhaps the one that sticks in my mind and in my heart the most was simply your presence. Your love. The way it felt to have you by my side. After we moved to LA, it felt very lonely at times. I wasn’t sure how I could bear the loneliness, but that’s when God gave me you. And he let me keep you for as long as he could. Each and every day, no matter what happened, your peaceful existence was the stable rock in the middle of it all.
Saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I guess we don’t realize what a big part of our lives a pet is until they are gone. Without you, I feel lost. I wish you hadn’t gotten so sick. I tried so hard to stop it, to fix it, but I couldn’t stop time. I’m sorry it was so hard at the end. But even at the end, when you were suffering, I could see peace in your eyes. I felt it in my heart. You’ll be there when I get to heaven, I know it. You’ll run to me as if we were never apart.
They say you lived a long, good life, but it’s going to take time for me to accept that it was really time for you to go. You were a gift. A blessing. A sign of God’s great love. Be at peace my sweet girl. Your daddy said that he thinks that there’s no experience of time in heaven, that time is an earthly human experience. He thinks that perhaps when you go to heaven all the ones you love are already there… In your last days, as we said goodbye, I whispered through my tears that I’ll be there when you get there… I hope it’s true. I love you. I’ll be missing you dearly, until we meet again at the rainbow bridge.
