When I was a child, I always had a certain curiosity about the world. I found myself daydreaming a lot. Always about secret gardens and far away places. I loved watching movies like The Wizard of Oz and The Secret Garden. I liked to analyze and feel the emotions that would come over me while I watched movies. I tried to understand the lesson that was being taught throughout the story. If I didn’t understand, I would come up with something that made sense. I enjoyed reading, writing and playing make believe. Creating characters. I wanted my life to be a fairy tale. I think my young soul saw this creative world as a way to escape the dysfunction in my outside world. I felt the pain of those around me, especially my family, and all I wanted to do was write the happy ending to our story. It would take me many, many years to realize I couldn’t do that for others, but I could do that for myself.
I write this now as I see the world so differently. I understand that my past doesn’t define who I am. I’ve learned to forgive others, and how to forgive myself. Nothing ever changes until you wake up. Because of my faith, I was able to wake up. Now I don’t live in the pain I was living in because I’m sober. I still feel bad sometimes and I still experience the roller coaster of being human. But today, I am grateful for my life.
If I can help just one more person heal. I will have lived a life of purpose. To this day, I still dream of magic places and see beauty around me everyday. Nature, the spiritual world and my love for creating keeps me going. I do not know yet what I am meant to do. In the big scheme of things, I know I’m a writer and a creative. The desire to make a difference in the world keeps me centered and hopeful. God has a plan for me. Each day I take actions to reach my destiny, letting his will be the driving force in my life.
The future can be whatever you want it to be. If you just believe in the power of your dreams. 🙂
