To be happy: the greatest of all human desires since the beginning of time. Everything we have worked for has been in our conquest for greater joy and meaning. But to find greater joy and meaning? I believe it comes not from acquiring more, but from living with less. Living with less of all the things that don’t serve a purpose and breaking free from all the physical and emotional traps we too easily confine ourselves to.
This isn’t always an easy task, however, especially since it’s been engrained in us from a young age to want and need more STUFF to fulfill our ever growing needs. We’ve wanted stuff since before we can remember. As we journey through adulthood we still want stuff. Whether it’s a bigger house, better clothes, the latest trendy gadget out on the market, etc. When we scroll through our facebook or instagram feeds it’s hard not to compare ourselves to others, thinking “I need to do that” or “I want that”. But what is it that we really NEED?
Do we really need a bigger house? Do we really need a new phone? Do we really need to buy that (whatever it is thing that we’ll use a few times and forget about it) that they advertise so well? Or do we need to downsize all the CRAP that is taking up our space, preventing us from living free and allowing peace and happiness to evolve in our lives?
Welcome minimalism! A lifestyle designed with the idea that less is more. When we rid ourselves of the stuff taking up our precious space and time, we allow room for all the things we need, like more relaxation, more creativity and more love. This often takes time and careful consideration, because we have to figure out what it is that serves us, and what doesn’t. This isn’t only about material possessions, but that is a good place to start.
For me, the decision to let go of the old and NOT replace it with something new was relatively simple. As I sat down in my big comfy recliner (which I’m definitely keeping btw), I just looked around at my home. The walls painted the same old dark poopie brown they were when we moved in (they’ve always felt a little bit like they are closing in on me), my son’s toys scattered all over the floor, a heaping laundry basket, the counter top cluttered with junk and mail that needed to get thrown out, and a sink full of dirty dishes that I’ll admit, somehow kept finding their way up out of the sink and across the counter top. Needless to say, my environment was a bit chaotic and it overwhelmed me. I had been feeling depressed for months and I said to my husband, “Ya know, we should really think about painting.”
Thankfully, our little toddler helped pave the way, because of his abundance of curiosity and endless energy, he’s always ready to “help” mama. Whether it be dishes, laundry, putting away groceries, sweeping, mopping, cleaning up his toys (then throwing them back on the floor)… well, you get the idea. What this has done, is now when he reaches for things like the dishwasher door, instead of redirecting him, I open it and we put the dirty ones in, or we put away the clean ones. For the past couple weeks, there hasn’t been a counter top full of dirty dishes that I try to ignore. I’ve decluttered the mess. We’ve been doing the dishes after every meal and the kitchen has been staying clean. Amazing.
My wonderful husband and I both agreed the dark walls had to go. We looked at some minimalist homes online and decided to go with an off white shade called Writer’s Parchment by BEHR (how fitting). Ryan did the rolling, while I did the taping and the trim. It took three and a half days, but what a difference it’s made. Our home is so much bigger and brighter. We joked that I should write a book called: “Problems in your marriage? Just add a coat of paint!” This endeavor allowed us to joke around and reconnect, while improving our home and breaking up the monotony of the day to day.
I also kept going through closets and drawers ditching all the stuff that seems to have just moved from place to place with us over the last decade. Over the years, we’ve gotten rid of a lot, but it still seems we have so much. How is it that we’ve accumulated all of this? Well, it’s not rocket science. We are programmed to accumulate things. Minimalism is the path to deprogramming that way of thinking. So I ask one simple question: Does it serve a purpose? If it doesn’t – it goes to Goodwill. If I’m not sure, it goes in storage. Once the house is at the point we want it to be, then we’ll tackle the garage (which has quickly become a cluttered mess in itself, but hey, we’ll get there).
I took all the unmatched photo frames down from walls and tables and decided to put the photos into a photo album for my son to view whenever he wants. Old knick knacks with sentimental value went into storage. I kept my angels out (they are sentimental and have a purpose to me). I got rid of clothes and shoes I haven’t worn in years and managed to cut my closet in half! It’s only a start, but it’s awesome. This minimalist overhaul has been a lot of work, but also very freeing. It’s not something that can be done in a day, nor does it have to be. We take it one day at a time, letting go of more and more as we go.
The story of my life has always been about trying new things, while desperately searching for my place in the world. I think this story is at the core of all humanity, but none the less, I like to think of it as uniquely mine. I’ve realized over the years, and more and more since becoming a mama that the most important things in life aren’t things at all. In the end, less really is more. Less stuff means more room for love. And more love brings more happiness. It’s that simple.
