They say things like, “everything changes”, “there is nothing like the love you feel” and “it’s hard”. You nod your head in agreement, as if you know what they mean. But really, there is no way to prepare yourself for everything motherhood entails. Sure, you can read books, go to classes, talk to other mamas, even baby sit your nieces and nephews. But nothing will prepare you more than jumping right in.
You’ll develop a “mama brain”, and eventually grow to love that “mama brain”. Your heart will know exactly what your child needs and how to provide the love that only a mother can. Motherhood is all consuming, all knowing and all about a mama’s overwhelming capacity to love another human being. It is crazy, beautiful and oh, so worth it.
While I was pregnant, I would love on my dog, not knowing how I could possibly share my love with another baby. Fast forward to the moment my son was born, the love I had for him was everything life was made of. It was everything I was made of. My Lily dog took her rightful place in the family. It’s not that our dog’s can’t be like our children, but there is something distinctly different about the love for a human child. The human child is like a part of us. Like, I would cut my arm off for my son.
Taking care of a newborn was hard, taking care of a toddler is harder, and taking care of an older child, I’m sure will come with it’s own set of challenges. What I know for sure though, is that no matter what happens, and no matter how times I feel like I’m failing, I know that this love will carry me through it all. If nothing else, I know that I don’t have to be a perfect mother, nor should I strive to be. I just have to be good enough.
Good enough means that I always love and care for him, keep him fed, keep him warm, and allow him to experience people, places and things. Yes, even those places that might make me uncomfortable (like, downtown LA for example). It is my responsibility to show him the world and love him unconditionally, even when he makes mistakes. Life is about learning. As he grows up, mama grows up too.
For all the mamas out there who are new or seasoned, it doesn’t matter if you think you’re not doing good enough or you think there aren’t enough hours in the day. Look at all you’ve accomplished so far. Underneath that mom bun, behind those tired eyes, is the strait up, essence of all that a woman was meant to be.
Look at your beautiful child and know you’re the reason they are here, you’re the reason they’re so independent, you’re the reason they play and dream and love others. And you might be the reason they change the world someday. Stop and take a breath. Notice the little things in the smallest moments. The most important part of your job is just to love. Don’t worry. You got this, mama.
